WEP Key Generator Utility for Wi-Fi Networks

Why do you NEED this tool?

The short answer...
There are millions of 802.11b Wi-Fi wireless access points and other devices installed in homes and small businesses around the world. Until now, there really hasn't been an easy way to manage the security of these devices.

The Wi-Fi WEP Key Generator Utility is used to quickly and easily create more secure WEP keys than can be created by using the built in passphrase generators contained in Wi-Fi networking equipment.

In a nutshell, a WEP key is a 'token' of hexadecimal characters (from 40-bit to 256-bit, depending upon the equipment manufacturer, that provides an encryption key for data on your Wi-Fi network.

Up until recently, the technology required to crack WEP keys has not been readily available. Now there are several tools available that allow hackers to crack WEP keys with far less effort.

if you have a wireless network, you need to change your WEP (Wired Equivalency Privacy) keys often. This tool makes it easy and convenient to keep your Wi-Fi wireless network more secure. Wi-Fi WEP Key Generator runs under Windows 98/98se/NT/2000/XP.

The Wi-Fi WEP Key Generator Utility also allows you to create WEP keys that work between manufacturers. Now you can use D-Link with Linksys with Netgear with Belkin with SMC, etc. and maintain your wireless networking security without worrying about equipment WEP key incompatibilities.

The longer answer...
Wireless networking has become increasingly popular over the past couple of years. 802.11b (or g) wireless access points and broadband router / switches, commonly known as Wi-Fi, can be found nearly everywhere these days. Home, small to medium sized businesses and local government networks are popping up all over the place.

While these networks are fairly easy to set up, they do have their drawbacks. Out of the box they are just not very secure. There are several things you can do to increase the security of your wireless network, but in many cases most of these networks are administered by individuals who are not professional network administrators.

Most people will only have one wireless network to worry about, while there are increasing numbers of people who must manage and keep track of security for several wireless networking installations, sometimes under the same roof. Whether you are managing one wireless network or a thousand, this utility will be one tool you will not be able to do without.

The WEP Key Generator Utility was born out of my necessity to more effectively manage my wireless network (and networks belonging to my local consulting clients).

There is a multitude of wireless networking equipment manufacturers and it is impossible to keep all of the setup parameters in your head. Some companies support ASCII passphrases as well as HEX, some equipment comes with passphrase key generators built in and others do not. I am sure you will find the WEP Key Generator as useful as I have in the short time I have been using it.

Why do you want THIS tool?

WEP Key Generator Utility main screen

As you can see from the screenshot above, you have the ability of keeping track of more than one wireless router or access point. Often times you will need a particular piece of information pertaining to your router and having a central repository for this information makes your task of managing your wireless network much easier.

Most of the parameters you will usually need are displayed on the main screen of the utility. All you have to do is select the particular wireless router in question and you will be immediately presented with the information you need. IP addresses, MAC identifiers, DNS settings, it's all here.

When you are adding the wireless router record to the database you can connect directly to the router (provided you have the administrator id and password) by clicking on the "Connect" button located beside the LAN IP address for the router.

This will allow you to easily navigate through the router configuration pages and provide easy access to the information in the router so you can copy and paste into the various fields to record the router parameters.

The WEP Key Generator Utility does NOT automatically connect to the router unless you click the "Connect" button and you have the administrator id and password for the router. It also does not automatically update the WEP key or SSID settings in the router. You will need to do this manually via copy and paste.

Example of network parameters being entered.

The main focus of this utility is to assist you in managing your wireless security.

As wireless networks become more popular, more and more people are finding ways to enter your network without your knowing about it. There are several steps you need to take in order to ensure your wireless network is as secure as possible.

We have built in some capabilities that greatly enhance the security of your wireless network.

First, and perhaps most important is your SSID. The SSID allows wireless equipment to differentiate between networks. The SSID of the wireless access point or router must be identical with that of the client wireless adapter settings.

One drawback of the SSID is that most wireless equipment comes, by default, configured to broadcast the SSID to the world. This lets everyone know you have a wireless network available in your general vicinity. This is a much debated issue and you should know that if you elect to turn off broadcasting your SSID, your wireless transactions will take longer for the router or access point to process.

Most people who set up the SSID use a short, easy to remember name for their network. The specification for the SSID allows for up to 32 characters, however it is extremely rare for anyone to use an SSID this long. The reason... it's just too hard to remember one longer than 7 or 8 characters.

With the WEP Key Generator, you don't have to. To generate a more secure SSID, all you have to do is enter the simple SSID name you can remember and then press the Scramble SSID button to create an SSID number of specially encrypted letters and numbers. This is the SSID you will post into your wireless network equipment settings.

Example of WEP parameters being entered

Next, we have the Wired Equivalency Privacy protocol method of security.

There are several implementations of WEP and their different naming conventions do nothing but confuse people who are trying to implement WEP:

WEP Encryption Name	Hexadecimal Characters	Data Byte Length
64 bit (40 bits)	10	5
128 bit (104 bits)	26	13
(152 bits)	38	19
256 bit (232 bits)	58	29

You can use 64 bit, 128 bit, 152 bit and 256 bit encryption to protect your transmissions. Most people forego the use of 64 bit encryption and opt for the more secure 128 bit or higher methods.

While the 64 bit implementation of WEP is part of the official standard, you should be aware that the 128 bit (and higher) implementations are not officially recognized and vary widely between manufacturers. Using our Wi-Fi WEP Key Generator Utility, you can generate keys for any of the above bit lengths and at the same time, enhance compatibility between equipment provided by different vendors.

What is the benefit to you?

There are literally millions of older Wi-Fi equipment installations that cannot benefit from the newer WPA wireless protection encryption algorithms. Primarily because the equipment manufacturers have abandoned the equipment and no longer provide updated drivers / firmware upgrades.

Some manufacturers build what are known as 'passphrase generators' into their equipment. This basically allows the user to enter an easily remembered phrase and the equipment generates the WEP key based upon an algorithm built into the equipment... and there lies the rub.

Every manufacturer seems to do it a bit differently, if they do it at all. There doesn't seem to be any kind of standard toward implementing WEP. This creates lots of problems when you are trying to connect devices from various manufacturers because the results from their built in passphrase generators are different across devices.

With the WEP Key Generator Utility, you can generate keys based on a passphrase that is compatible with all wireless systems because all wireless network systems must support hexadecimal based keys.

Instead of using the passphrase generator that is built into the router, or your wireless card on your laptop or PDA, you use the WEP Key Generator utility to generate the WEP keys and manually enter them into your wireless router settings and wireless network adapters.

As you can imagine, this greatly simplifies the implementation of equipment from different manufacturers. Now you can easily use Orinoco, Netgear, and D-Link wireless cards with a Linksys, SMC or Belkin router / switch and not have to worry that one manufacturer uses ASCII based WEP keys and the other doesn't support it. You are not limited in your choice of equipment by brand.

Not only do we support creating a key with a passphrase, we also have created a way to generate WEP keys based upon any particular file on your computer.

That's right. You can now generate a key based upon your resume, or even an image of your favorite pet. Simply select the file and click on the "Calculate WEP Key File" button. Keys are created automatically. This keeps someone from typing in passphrases trying to guess your WEP keys.

The Wi-Fi WEP Key Generator allows you to more effectively manage the security of your Wi-Fi network and extend the life of your existing equipment. It is important that you change the WEP keys used in your Wi-Fi devices often.

The 'truth' about WEP cracking.

First, you need to understand that achieving complete security is impossible. This is especially true with consumer grade wireless networks. The best that you can do is make it as difficult as possible for someone who wants to get into your network to do so.

It is true that WEP encryption has been 'cracked', however it takes someone who is pretty skilled and can capture a several million packets from your network traffic to actually enter a network at random. This takes time to do and isn't, as the hype in the media would have you believe, instantaneous.

Cracking WEP is not a trivial task, and if you secure your network with strong WEP and SSID keys, it is far more likely that anyone wanting to leech bandwidth will move on to a network that is less secure.

Getting from here to 'there'...

Distributing new WEP keys is easy. With the Print WEP Fax Report feature you can print a hardcopy report to fax to everyone who needs to be updated with the new WEP key information. You can also scan the hardcopy and email it as a graphics attachment to provide a more secure method of distributing them than sending them in a plain text email message.

The WEP Key Fax report features the WEP keys printed in a FIXED PROPORTIONAL font to allow for easy reading when entering the WEP key into your Wi-Fi devices.

Example of the WEP Key Fax Report faxed to www.K7.net and received via email.

Other hard copy reports include printing of all router information for every record in the database and printing a single record as highlighted in the list of routers on the main screen.

Soon there will also be a WEP Key Generator client module (at a small per client purchase price) that will allow you to communicate between the WEP Key Generator utility and the computers on your wireless network. You will have the option of transferring your WEP keys to the remote devices (you will still have to enter them into the wireless network settings manually, the client will just make the data easier for you to get to the computer).

It's EASY to use!

Step 1. Start the program and click on the Add / Edit Router button to enter new wireless networking parameters.

Be sure to enter as much information as possible. This will become very handy later on. Once you have entered the LAN IP address, you can click on the "Connect" button to launch the router configuration in the lower half of the entry form in order to cut and paste the router parameters into the entry fields on the form.

Required fields are LAN IP Address, LAN subnet mask, domain name and SSID. If you want to keep track of non-Wi-Fi equipment, make sure you enter the word "None" in the SSID field.

If your router does not support the use of a domain name, simply enter a uniquely identifiable word here such as "Home", "Work" or "Office" into this field. It's primary use is for sorting entries in the list to group them together so you can identify which wireless access points belong to a particular network.

Step 2. Enter your desired SSID and click on the Scramble SSID button to generate a more secure SSID. This feature allows you to mask your network's identity. Having an SSID that is scrambled will alert most people who are trying to access Wi-Fi networks that you take your network security serious.

Step 3. Enter a passphrase into the passphrase field OR select any file from your computer by clicking on the ellipsis button next to the WEP Key File entry field to generate a series of WEP keys you can use. Click on the "Calculate WEP Keys" button to generate the new WEP keys. Be sure to select which key will be 'Active'.

Step 4. Save the record and return to the main screen. Now you can implement your new scrambled SSID and WEP keys. Simply click on the buttons to copy each of them to the Windows clipboard and paste into your wireless router or client card setup screens.

You can even print out the settings in the event you have to take them with you or give them to one of your network users to configure their wireless network cards. Or you can print a Fax report to send to other users who might currently be away from your network.

NOTE: Do NOT use the passphrase generator on your Wi-Fi client adapter to generate your key. Use the manual entry method and input the WEP key you generated with the WEP Key Generator utility.

Version History:

3/23/2005 - 2.2 Added fields to store the port number for connection parameters to the router for LAN and remote WAN connection to facilitate administration of the router. Added fields for storing the fax number related to each network domain and modified the FAX report to display the number for each page to be sent.

1/21/2005 - 2.1 Added the ability to right click copy and paste to and from entry fields in the Router Update form to make it easier to transfer information to and from the router.

1/20/2005 - 2.1 Added the ability to log into the highlighted router by clicking on the connect button. The user id and password is automatically passed to the router to bypass the prompt dialog that would be normally presented to the user. This is an advanced security feature and should not be used unless it is necessary.

8/31/2004 - 2.0 Added additional data fields to keep track of WPA settings for routers that are WPA capable. WPA Active, WPA Shared Key, IEEE 802.1x authentication, Authentication Key and Encryption algorithm.

8/23/2004 - 2.0 The WEP Key Generator Utility is no longer free. Although it has been very popular as a free product, I simply cannot afford to continue to host the files for free any longer. See the FAQs for more information

NOTE: There are now two (2) different versions of the WEP Key Generator Utility. One is the WEP Key Generator and the other is the WEP Key Generator Pro Utility. The only difference between the two versions is the Pro version allows you to manage more than 2 wireless access points.

Added eSellerate integrated shopping cart to allow easy purchase of the WEP Key Generator Utility.

Added product registration and unlock code routines. Both versions have a 10 day free trial period, more than sufficient to evaluate whether you can use the product for your purposes.

5/19/2004 - 1.9 Added another field to the database called Comm Start Date which is the date communications will start for posting to the secure web site to the WEP Key Generator client. I also modified the error checking routines for Comm Lead Days, and Effective date to make entry of these items a bit more flexible and self-correcting. If you make an error during entry, the values will be defaulted to a known good value.

This should be the last modification to the database structure until the Options are modified to encompass the communications parameters needed for the WEP Key Client.

5/17/2004 - 1.8 Rewrote router record editing form to correct an intermittent problem with saving the record. Modified the orientation of screen fields and buttons. Moved several code blocks to local routines instead of mainline code.

Added background coloring to required fields in the entry form.

5/16/2004 - 1.7 Added new fields to the database to allow the entry of the firmware version of the router / access point, the communications lead days, the effective date and the expiration period for the WEP keys to be implemented.

The communications lead days is based upon the Communications Lead Days settings in the Options settings. The value in the settings is the default setting and can be overridden in the actual data record for the router. The default setting is 3 days.

This value will be used in conjunction with the WEP Key Generator client module to determine the number of days allowed for communications of the new WEP key prior to the effective date and the expiration date.

The effective date is based upon the Communications Lead Days in the data record and is calculated by using Options settings.

The effective date for a new record is calculated with TODAY( ) + Communications Lead Days.

The Expiration Date is now based upon the Effective Date + Expiration Period. The default Expiration Period is stored in the Options settings and may be overridden in each record.

As an example, if you wanted to make the new WEP key effective 3 days from now, the Communications Lead Days setting would be 3 and when a new record is added, the Effective Date would be 3 days from today. The Expiration Period is used to calculate the Expiration Date and would be Effective Date + Expiration Period.

This gives you a period of time prior to activating the new WEP keys so you can communicate the new keys to the clients prior to making the change to the network.

There has been extensive error checking implemented in the entry of Communications Lead Days, Effective Date, Expiration Period and Expiration Date fields. I am sure you will find it to be very flexible to use and you should not be able to make a mistake in scheduling the deployment of WEP keys.
NOTE: If you have existing data records in the database, you will need to enter the Expiration Date first, then the Effective date (make it a few days in advance, then the Communications Lead Days. Then you should be able to save the record.

Modified the main screen to eliminate confusion for users in terms of which WEP key is active and whether DHCP is enabled or disabled on the router. Also modified the Router Entry form to blank the DHCP Range Start field IP address if the DHCP Enabled check box is cleared.

Modified the Channel drop list to support Chan. 12 - 14 used in Europe and Japan.

Modified all reports to reflect the additional fields as necessary.

5/15/2004 - 1.5 Modified the 'Copy Scrambled SSID to Clipboard' and 'Copy Active WEP Key to Clipboard' buttons to ensure that only the actual correct number of characters are placed in the Windows clipboard.

A user reported that some wireless equipment does not fully support the standards for SSIDs and would only accept 31 characters. There is a possibility that what actually happened was the end of string terminator for the field was copied to the clipboard along with the complete length of the string. This would result in 33 characters being pasted into the entry field of the wireless device rather than the maximum allowed 32. To prevent this from happening, since I could not duplicate the problem, the modification was made to ensure the terminator does not get copied to the clipboard.

Also, the URL for this web page has changed. It can now be accessed via http://www.wepkeygenerator.com as well as http://www.clariondeveloper.com/wepgen

5/13/2004 - 1.4 Modified the WEP key encryption algorithm slightly to allow a user selectable option for the 'seed' value. There are now three choices, Random, Static or Custom. (This modification was as a result of discussions and feedback from the Pocket PC Magazine forums.)

The random choice allows for the use of a constantly changing seed value based upon the system clock. The static choice uses the SSID as entered into the router record. The custom choice allows the user to input a 'seed' passphrase of up to 32 characters long. The impact of this modification is:

Random - Best level of security. WEP key cannot be 'reproduced' by another machine running the WEP key generator.
This option provides the best security and is useful for users who use desktop and laptop computers that can run the WEP Key Generator client (soon to be released). If you are using handheld computers, such as Pocket PC or PalmOS based devices, you will have to manually distribute and / or enter the WEP keys as they are released.

Custom - Moderate level of security. If someone knows your custom seed value and your WEP passphrase they can duplicate your WEP key.
This is useful in the situation where you need to be able to reliably generate WEP keys for devices like PDA's or other devices and you want a higher level of security (using the soon to be released WEP Key Generator clients). This makes it possible to generate a WEP key on Pocket PC or PalmOS devices (when the client for the specific hardware is released).

Static - Lowest level of protection. If someone knows your SSID, and WEP passphrase, they can duplicate your WEP key.
This is useful in the situation where you need to be able to reliably generate WEP keys for devices like PDA's or other devices (using the soon to be released WEP Key Generator clients). This makes it possible to generate a WEP key on Pocket PC or PalmOS devices (when the client for the specific hardware is released).

5/2/2004 - Added a "Connect to Router" button to the main window to make it easier to manage the router parameters.

Added an instructional message when the 'Copy WEP Key to Clipboard' and 'Copy Scrambled SSID to Clipboard' buttons are pressed.

Added WEP Fax report to allow for the distribution of WEP key change information via a 'lower tech' method. Sending it via facsimile allows for better security than email when you need to distribute sensitive information.

5/1/2004 - 1.3 Added functionality to display color attributes for Expiration Date field in Router list to identify WEP keys that must be changed within a certain number of alert days. The option for Alert Days is user configurable and the default setting is 7 days.

Added a field to the database structure to store the name of the physical location of the router.

Modified the algorithm used to create the WEP keys by using a constantly changing 'seed'. This should be the last modification needed to the encryption / generation algorithm.

Here's how the WEP keys are produced. First, I obtain an MD5 signature on either the key file selected or the passphrase that is manually entered. If a key file is selected from the hard disk, the passphrase is the MD5 signature of the key file. If the passphrase is manually entered, I obtain an MD5 signature for that at the start of the generation algorithm. Next, I return a value from the system clock in one hundredths of a second and calculate an MD5 signature on that value. This gives us a possible 8,640,000 MD5 signatures to work with.

At this point we have either an MD5 signature for the passphrase and an MD5 signature for the clock value OR we have an MD5 signature of an MD5 signature (if a key file is chosen) and the MD5 signature for the clock value. Next, each of these two values is merged into a 256 bit string value using alternating bytes from each MD5 signature. Then, depending upon which WEP mode is selected, the string is 'sliced' to the appropriate byte length for the mode and the result is passed back to the database and displayed upon the screen.

4/30/2004 - 1.2 Added functionality to support 152 and 256 bit WEP keys.
NOTE! - This required a change to the original algorithm used to generate keys. If you have keys in place, you will need to re-generate them even if you are using 64 or 128 bit WEP.
(This modification was requested by participants of the alt.internet.wireless USENET newsgroup. Thanks for the information. This newsgroup is HIGHLY recommended.)

Modified main screen to display a tool bar with browse navigation buttons.

4/29/2004 - 1.1 Added functionality to connect to the router in the router entry screen to provide easy access to the router parameters for the purpose of cutting and pasting data.
Modified file structures to provide field for administrator id to be stored in the database.
Modified file structures to allow for entry of multiple IP addresses of 192.169.1.1 with the uniqueness being constrained by the domain name. You cannot have duplicate IP addresses within a domain. This modification simply makes it easy to keep you from entering duplicate IP addresses.

4/27/2004 - 1.0 Added functionality to sort records by Domain and Frequency / Channel.
This will provide a method to determine whether a conflict exists between devices Reformatted list box to accommodate additional fields. Added functionality to automatically update file structures.

4/26/2004 - 1.0 Added reporting capability to print a single record highlighted in the browse.

4/25/2004 - 1.0 Initial release.

FAQ:

Q. Why are there two separate versions of WEP Key Generator?
A. It's quite simple. Most people using this product would only have need to manage one or two wireless access points and do not have that many wireless clients to maintain. WEP Key Generator (standard) allows for the management of up to two WAPs, WEP Key Generator Pro, allows for the management of 1 to unlimited (virtually) WAPs and will also support the soon-to-be-released client module that will communicate WEP settings between the main program and wireless clients to make keeping the security settings on wireless clients up to date a no-brainer.
WEP Key Generator is half the price of WEP Key Generator Pro. Since the majority of users would only have one or two WAPs we wanted to give you the option of buying the product at a lower price.

Q. Why isn't the WEP Key Generator Utility free anymore?
A. Unfortunately, as of 8/23/2004 it is no longer free. After many thousands of downloads my wife and I simply cannot afford the bandwidth charges. We now must charge a reasonable price for the utility in order to cover our expenses for hosting. We had originally relied on the goodness of people to provide a donation to help offset the cost of hosting the file, but to date have only had literally a handful of donations.

Just like millions of other programmers around the world, I have financial responsibilities like the mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc. I am not trying to get rich and anyone who sells software on the Internet can tell you, it's a lot of work for the financial return.

Why do I do it? The simple answer is, I am an older programmer who is disabled. It's pretty tough to find work at my age with the medical issues I have. Most companies want to hire the kids getting out of college because they can get them on the cheap. They don't have families, mortgages and all of the other expenses that come with age. Even though I haven't been able to find a programming job in a few years now, I still love to program. So, I decided that in order to keep my skills up, I would write some (what I think) are useful utilities and provide them for free or at a nominal cost.

Q. What kind of technical support do I get?
A. You get the same level of commitment that is provided to our customers who have purchased our very popular firewall log reporting and analysis tools. Since I am here at home all day (and most of the night) the most exciting things I get to do (besides spending time with Rita) are to answer email questions and watch TechTV, other than writing code. If you have any questions about the utility, just send me an email with your questions and I'll be glad to answer them.

Q. Why do you charge for the WEP Key Generator Client?
A. The answer to this is pretty simple. Most people who use the utility only have a single wireless access point or router and a single client. As such, it's not difficult to manage the settings on a single device. For those people that require distribution of the wireless network settings to multiple devices, it is a cost effective means to get the data to the device. There is an additional cost to me in providing support for these users so it's only fair to charge for the client.

Q. I am using the WEP Key Generator Client but I don't have a web site to store the settings to update the clients?
A. No problem. For a small monthly subscription fee you can post your encrypted wireless security settings on our secure web server (which is only accessible by the WEP Key Generator client) to facilitate transfer to the clients.

Q. Are there any Wi-Fi devices that are not completely compatible with the WEP Key Generator Utility?
A. Unfortunately, not all vendors embrace quality the same way. The WEP Key Generator Utility is written to conform to the official Wi-Fi specification.
The following devices have known issues:

Wi-Fi Device	Problem	Workaround
SMC7004AWBR - Barricade Runtime Code Version: V1.42.005 Boot Code Version: V1.20	SSID only accepts 31 characters in the router configuration page.	If using scrambled SSID, leave off the last character when entering the SSID. NOTE: This will require you do the same for any other wireless devices you might have accessing this router.

See Leo Laporte's review of the WEP Key Generator on The Screensavers Have a website? Tired of receiving spam? Now you can keep the spam bots from harvesting your email address from your web site. Click here for more information on our Web Email Cloaking Utility.

What's New? Version: 2.2 Date: 03/23/2005 MD5 Signatures: Check MD5 with this tool The following links will take you to the shopping cart to place your order. The shopping cart requires that you have cookies enabled in your browser. WEP Key Generator Standard Edition (limited to two WAPs) Version: 2.2 9DBD2050ED5C1BD0016B8688172D6E0B WEP Key Generator Pro Edition (unlimited WAPs) Version: 2.2 8C0C88665B169678BF11986D00A79643 New! Online Help Page and FAQ's Check out our new web store where you can buy both versions of the WEP Key Generator Utility.

Other link sites to check out for freeware and shareware: Okay Sites Directory

Wi-Fi hack and WEP key hack

If you have a Wi-Fi enabled device like a mobile phone or a laptop, you may have found that open wireless networks which grant access to all rarely exist. And if you are developing a wi-fi network, pay attention to choose WPA key encryption, for someone may be able to hack a WEP Key encrypted wireless network and gain your WEP key, hence gain access to your wireless network.

How to hack a WEP key encrypted WiFi network

In order to get the WEP key, you need two programs: Ariodump (airodump) and WinAirCrack.

First, configure Ariodump. Run Ariodump, it will show all WNIC you have on you laptop and ask you to enter the WNIC interface index number, choose BUFFALO WNIC, that is, to enter 26. Then choose the type of WNIC chip, as HermesI/Realtek is the most popular, select ‘o’ (depending on your WNIC chip). Then choose the channel number of the AP, we here select 6 (it can be set to a single channel from 1 to 14 or set it to 0 to hop among all channels).Then enter the name and path of the resulting file (.txt, .cap). When the application ask if only write WEP IVs, choose no.

Secondly, when all has been set, Ariodump starts to capture encrypted traffic, after a sufficient number of packets have been collected (300,000), you can stop it. And you will find the cap and txt file in the WinAirCrack folder.

Third, run WinAirCrack, press the button that has a file ico and select the cap file. Then click on the WEP tab, choose 64 for the Key size as most user choose this length of WEP key. Finally click on aircrack button and it starts to work, when it finishes a CMD window prompts and displays KEY FOUND followed by the WEP key.

Please note Ariodump may take a long time to capture 300,000 packets of wireless data, it depends on the the amount of data being transferred and if you have set the right mode for your WNIC and target network (802.11b, 802.11g, 802.11n), be aware they are using the same mode.

Once you get the WEP key, now you may gain free access to the Wi-Fi network and Internet.

Where to download Ariodump and WinAirCrack

You can always download them and other related apps at East Mobiles Connection, just click on winaircrackpack.zip.

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Rune of Fate New game by EleFun Games company. People say that the runes know everything. They say that the runes know the past, the present and the future. And their predictions always come true. What if these runes are not just ordinary runes? What if you happen to have Odin Runes in your hands? They can kill by sending disasters and suffering to their possessor. However, they can also show the way. The way to the secret hidden high in the mountains. You will have only to throw them to the bottom of the box and then collect the deal fallen. Only in such a way, step by step, you will be able to get closer to your aim.

Monkey GO Happy In Monkey Go Happy it's your job to cheer up this sad ape! Each level is a mini-puzzle or game you must solve. Solve them all as fast as you can to get the highest score, and make this primate proud!

Exploit Information is freedom. As a hotshot computer security cracker, you will solve over 50 puzzles and fight against totalitarianism, abuses of power, and terrorism. Story Mode offers a twist-filled story of international intrigue, and Challenge Mode offers 19 more puzzles to engage the mind. When it’s all done, use the built-in puzzle editor to make and share your own creations! Instructions: Everything is controlled by the mouse. Check out the tutorial to learn how to play. To share a level, click the “Copy Level Code to Clipboard” button in the editor, then paste the code into a comment or chat with CTRL-V. To load a level someone else made, copy their level code with CTRL-C, click “Load Puzzle” on the main menu, and paste the code in the box with CTRL-V.

Cruise Holiday Prepare to set sail and tickle your funny bone. Set off on a funny journey on the Cruise! Instructions: Use your MOUSE to play. Click on objects to pick them up. Events are triggered by clicking on two or more different objects. Some objects will get stored in the Inventory Panel, click on these objects to use them. Refer to the hints in the game.

Gen Attract the smaller spheres and guide them safely to the light blue sphere. The spheres should not touch red surfaces. Instructions: Left click to activate/deactivate the attraction mechanism. You will only attract spheres if you are close enough. Space - pause. fire: left mouse

Tilt A 3D puzzle game with amazing graphics. Instruction: fire: left mouse movement: mouse

Naughty Park Three naughty boys are at it again! Help them use bees, worms and puppies in sneaky ways to get a hot jogger undressed!

Naughty Classroom You don't need good marks to top this class, just a wicked mind! Get naughty with Naughty Classroom! Instructions: Point and click on objects to use them, pair 2 objects together and create a combo.

Knightfall Through 5 scenarios, the Knight seeks his stolen love, imprisoned by the Devil himself. Showcasing a new spin (literally) on the puzzle RPG genre, you must guide your Knight to each level's exit by drilling away the blocks he stands on, and letting gravity take effect! By rotating the entire game board, you can guide him anywhere you wish; into confrontations with the monsters that dwell in the dungeons, or to greedily grab the treasures that litter the game - be careful not to run out of stamina, though! Collect enough currency, and you can buy potions, spells, armour and other trinkets from a shop staffed by a helpful fairy. 3 skill levels cater for absolute beginners, right up to the most hardened strategy fan, 2 different game modes provide essential replayability and a host of achievements await the completist! Can you save the princess armed with nothing more than a rusting medieval drill and a sense of derring-do? Instructions: Use the mouse to move the pointer and click on groups of 3 or more blocks of the same color to make them crumble. Click the arrows either side of the screen (or press the left and right arrows) to rotate the board in the corresponding direction. "P" can be used to pause the game and "Esc" will cancel full-screen mode.

Kaleidoscope Reef Kaleidoscope Reef is a colorful action/puzzle game with beautiful hand-drawn art, from the creators of Anika’s Odyssey. Expand your threatened reef and create new homes for your fish by planting coral, gathering plankton, and feeding young polyps. Beware of rival fish, vile pollution and dangerous environments that will try to hold you back and destroy your creations! Instructions: Click and Drag polyps and plankton to build your reef. Some environments can be interacted with, so keep your eyes open! Press the pause button during play to pause the game and bring up the in-game menu, which includes options to help color-blind players.

Magic Pen 2 The sequel of the hugely popular Magic Pen game will test your puzzle ability to the max. Armed with just a pen are you required to draw the shapes needed to get the job done. Can you defy the persistent pull gravity or will you become a mindless slave obeying to its basic rules? It's all up to you.

The statuettes handed out at the 81st annual Academy Awards at the Kodak theatre, Los Angeles

Best film
Christian Colson, Slumdog Millionaire



Best actor
Sean Penn, Milk

 



Best actress
Kate Winslet, The Reader

Best director
Danny Boyle, Slumdog Millionaire

Best foreign language film
Japan, Yojiro Takita, Departures

 



Best song
Jai Ho, by AR Rahman and Gulzar, Slumdog Millionaire



Best original score
AR Rahman, Slumdog Millionaire



Jean Hersholt Humanitarian award
Jerry Lewis

Best film editing
Chris Dickens, Slumdog Millionaire

Best sound mixing
Ian Tapp, Richard Pryke and Resul Pookutty, Slumdog Millionaire

Best sound editing
Richard King, The Dark Knight

Best visual effects
Eric Barba, Steve Preeg, Burt Dalton and Craig Barron, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best documentary short
Megan Mylan, Smile Pinki

Best documentary feature
James Marsh and Simon Chinn, Man On Wire

Best supporting actor
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight

Best live-action short
Jochen Alexander Freydank, Spielzeugland (Toyland)

Best cinematography
Anthony Dod Mantle, Slumdog Millionaire

Best makeup
Greg Cannom, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best costume design
Michael O'Connor, The Duchess

Best art direction
Donald Graham Burt and Victor J Zolfo, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Best animated short
Kunio Kato, La Maison en Petits Cubes

Best animated feature
Andrew Stanton, WALL-E

Best adapted screenplay
Simon Beaufoy, Slumdog Millionaire

Best original screenplay
Dustin Lance Black, Milk

Best supporting actress
Penélope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona

Oscars 2009 live: the 81st Academy Awards as it happened

Welcome to our live blog of Oscars 2009 – a real night to remember for British talent as Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire swept the boards and Kate Winslet ended her Oscar duck

 

 

 

 

 

Slumdog's day ... cast and crew of Slumdog Millionaire with the Oscar for best film. Photograph: Gabriel Bouys/AFP/Getty Images

11.12pm: Code amber at the 81st annual Academy Awards. Welcome, welcome one and all: to the liggers behind the cordons, the dignitaries in their limos and to the hoi-polloi like us, camped out in front of the TV set. The carpet is laid, the lamps are lit and the sharpshooters have taken up their positions on the rooftops overlooking the Kodak theatre (presumably just a cautionary measure, in case Mickey Rourke gets too lary).

A swift note to those flummoxed by the time-stamp: we're working on Greenwich Mean Time, on account of sitting in a deserted office in London as opposed to, say, in row D, right next to Jack Nicholson. Trust this doesn't break the illusion. Right now, for instance, it is a shade after 3pm in California. The early arrivals will be showing up any moment now.

11.28pm: Have we time for an Oscar preamble? I'm guessing that we do, seeing as the carpet is currently playing host to Fearne Cotton, an irritable-looking woman in a black dress and a few hired goons dangling security passes around their necks. Time enough for preambling, I feel.

What will win and who will lose? Evidence suggests (screams, more like) that most of the big awards are all over bar the presentation. The drumbeat for the likes of Slumdog Millionaire, Kate Winslet and Heath Ledger began with the Globes, continued through the Baftas and appeared to reach a depressing crescendo two days ago with the reputed leak of a winners' list that installed Slumdog as best picture, Winslet as best actress and Mickey Rourke as actor. Now it must be pointed out that the Academy have sworn up and down that this list is a fiction, a hoax, a tissue of lies, and that the votes were still being counted when it was sprung on the world.

Now cynics will obviously contend that this was always going to be their response. What else are they going to say? "Oh yeah, that's the list. Still, tune in anyway on the night of 22 February to see whether Angelina Jolie is wearing a white dress or a black one"?

Down on the red carpet Fearne Cotton is insisting time and again that "the Oscars are mad". People don't realise this, she asserts with the fiery, wild-eyed conviction of an angry down-and-out. The Oscars are mad! Pray God that the world will listen. If the Oscars are mad they need urgent psychiatric attention, and Fearne is but one woman; a lone voice in the wilderness.

11.39pm: Thanks for the early comments. Yes, Zoe Margolis, I have some industrial strength coffee at my elbow (perilously near my elbow) as I type. And yes, annapickard, the sole purpose of Jack being here is so he can get drunk off his arse (we tried for Helen Mirren but she was "unavailable", they told us). So right now he's sitting here in his tux, sober as a judge and as excited as a kitten. Come sun-up he will be rolling in a gutter, singing Moon River to a passing policeman. Coincidentally this is also Mickey Rourke's itinerary for the evening.

11.50pm: What's become of the red carpet? Whither the Kodak theatre? We have become lost in the backrooms and corporate corridors of some infernal LA convention centre. Fearne Cotton has slipped the leash and is running frantically back and forth, shouting "Wow!" and hugging passersby.

Whoops, and now she's run slap-bang up against the child stars of Slumdog Millionaire. At least their air of unruly excitement seems genuine; an antidote to all the counterfeit glee that's wafting around their ears. "Can I just say that that was so cute?" coos Fearne afterwards. She can and she does, almost killing the moment into the bargain. Almost, but thankfully not quite.

0.01am: The cast of Slumdog Millionaire seem to be dominating the first part of this Oscar night, just as the bookies are predicting they will dominate the last. Here come grinning Dev Patel and demure Freida Pinto, who appears to have shown up without her "secret husband", which is a shame. Notebooks out, fashionistas: Pinto confesses that her dress is by John Galliano.

Still on a sartorial note, Miley Cyrus has gone out on a limb with her own outfit. Subediting Chai remarks that she looks "like a mountain of doilies". I'm hoping that Fearne will pursue this line of inquiry. "Wow, Miley, you look both amazing and mad! Have you come as a mountain of doilies?"

0.17am: Ahead of the event, Academy president Sid Ganis was at pains to point out that this year's Oscars "is going to be a show that takes some bold risks". Swirling rumours from the red carpet suggest that this means that it is to feature some musical numbers. Outside the Kodak, everyone is contorted with anticipation at this prospect. Musical numbers! It only goes to prove that Fearne was right, and that the Oscars have officially gone as bazonkas as a bagful of snakes. Batten down the hatches, people. This will be razzle and there may even be dazzle. So don't say you haven't been warned.

0.27am: Shame. Fearne Cotton does not say that Miley Cyrus looks like the Thunder Mountain of Doilies. She says she looks "beautiful" and is wearing "a princess dress". Down on the comment board, NeverEnoughShoes likes it too, however, so what do we know?

Oh, and here comes Josh Brolin – so good in Milk but destined, surely, to fall to the posthumous challenge of Heath Ledger in the hunt for the best supporting actor Oscar. Brolin says that his plans for the night are to sweep up some awards and then head off to the party. I'm guessing that he will fulfill at least one of those ambitions.

0.39am: The first truly bizarre moment of this year's Oscars comes courtesy of (you guessed it) Mickey Rourke. He ambles up the red carpet wearing the white suit of a cinematic paladin, the Sir Gallahad of Beverly Hills.

But check out those accoutrements. That gold chain rattling round his pants is the choke chain that once nestled at the throat of his late dog, Loki (handy for when he got a bit too frisky or murderous). That medallion round his neck contains a picture of Loki in happier times. Just look at Loki. His ears are up and his tongue is pink and he gazes out at Fearne with a stare of sweet, soulful wisdom.

For her part, Fearne inspects the gold choke chain and declares that it is "beautiful". Rourke seems happy enough with that verdict. With that he prepares to lead Loki on what may be his last walk, up the steps and towards an Oscar. No nature breaks on the way, please. Let's keep it clean down there.

0.52am: One of this year's key questions solved. Angelina Jolie is wearing a black dress, not a white one. Inevitably her arrival causes quite a stir. "The crowd behind me are literally going bonkers," claims excitable Fearne Cotton. Watch out, Fearne! They'll bum-rush the cordons and devour you whole; screaming, screaming all the while.

More alarmingly, this mounting mood of insanity appears to be claiming the presenters too. Back in London, Claudia Winkleman insists that she will "eat her hair and wail" if Slumdog Millionaire doesn't win the best picture Oscar.Will she really do this? It almost makes me want Slumdog to crash and burn

1.03am: Are they all in the theatre? Hurry up, hurry up; there is only so much red carpet we can stare at, only so much Fearne we can stomach (mad and 'mazing though she is).

1.20am: Finally, it's the 81st annual Academy Awards. Actually I'm lying - the ceremony hasn't quite started yet, but the carpet trundling seems to have stopped and by the time I finish writing this, we will be under way ... under way ... any minute now.

In the meantime, let's recap. Slumdog Millionaire is the prohibitive favourite to win the best film gong, with The Curious Case of Benjamin Button trailing a distant second. Kate Winslet is likewise the hot favourite to win her first acting Oscar for her role in The Reader as the Evil Nazi Death Camp Fraulein What Can't Read (this, it should be pointed out, is not how Winslet would describe the role herself).

The race for best actor is a tad more open. Mickey Rourke is the slight favourite here for his superb, cathartic turn in The Wrestler, although Sean Penn is in with a shout courtesy of a brilliant impersonation of Harvey Milk in the Gus van Sant biopic. Insiders are also speculating that Rourke's high-living, high-rolling, high-profile antics since the Baftas may end up swinging late voters in Penn's favour. It's a curious case of affairs when the brawling, paparazzi-bashing Penn is set up as the noble good guy to Rourke's reprobate. Maybe, once all this is over, they can team up for a remake of some odd couple buddy movie: Tango and Cash, perhaps, or Turner and Hooch.

1.29am: Thanks to Conrad Quilty-Harper who emails me with Ryan Seacrest's astounding red carpet interview with the young cast of Slumdog, over on E!

Hate to admit it, but it's enough to make me think well of Fearne Cotton. First up, Seacrest assembles the kids and breezily confesses that he "can't pronounce all these names". Then, after grilling one child who looks about nine years old, he turns to the camera and marvels that this kid "doesn't speak English" (Seacrest's Hindi, by contrast, is presumably beyond reproach).

I know this is the same Seacrest guy who is constantly boasting that he is "live on E!", but that's really no excuse.

Aha, it is the end of the beginning. Now, at long last, the ceremony is about to commence.

1.41am: So here they come: the 81st Academy Awards.

Out walks Oscar host Hugh Jackman, the razzle-dazzle roughneck; Clark Gable channelling the spirit of Bruce Forsyth (or should that be the other way around?).

With respect to the recession, Jackman promptly hurls himself into a no-frills musical routine, complete with the cardboard backdrops of an am-dram production and gallant support from Anne Hathaway (who can actually sing). Against all the odds, it's pretty good: amiable, warm-hearted and unashamedly shambolic. Say what you like, you'd never have caught Jon Stewart doing something like this.

Random thought: hasn't Jackman built a career on snagging the jobs that Russell Crowe turned down (X-Men; Australia)? This raises the enticing prospect that Crowe was offered the gig first. I'd like to have seen that. Crowe would have mumbled a poem into the mic, tussled with the bouncers when his monologue overran and then laid out a guest presenter who made a light-hearted crack about his weight. It would have been both mad and amazing.

Ah well, maybe next year.

Another random thought: does this opening routine mean that we are in for the Depression-era Oscars? If so, one wonders how far they are going to push the envelope. Will we be treated to a Soup Kitchen Spectacular, in which Robert De Niro and Miley Cyrus spoon out gruel to the hungry? Or maybe a Dustbowl Interlude, in which a wind machine blows top-soil into the eyes of the great and the good. Time will tell.

1.46am: Jackman's celebrity roast comes out of the oven a little underdone. First he flirts with Kate Winslet (who seems to be have been seated suspiciously near the front). Then he plumps himself down in Frank Langella's lap, and informs the debauched melted candle otherwise known as Mickey Rourke that he "looks great". Even dear departed Loki would have struggled to say that with a straight face (straight muzzle?).

1.59am: The first award for the night is the Academy Award for best supporting actress, presented by a quintet of former winners (including Anjelica Huston, who seems intent on lavishing Penélope Cruz with faint praise: "Even if we didn't understand every word you said ...")

If anything, Cruz is the slight favourite for this one, although everyone will fancy their chances here.

And the Oscar goes to .... Penélope Cruz for her turn as the Latin virago in Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona.

"Has anyone fainted here before, because I may be the first one," gulps Cruz, who goes on to pay tribute to Allen as well as Spanish mentors Pedro Almodóvar and Bigas Luna (who gave Cruz her first role, in 1992's Jamon Jamon). "Art is our universal language," she concludes, perhaps in riposte to Huston.

2.03am: Second award of the night: best original screenplay. It goes to Dustin Lance Black for Milk.

At the podium, Black provides the first tears of the night, as he recalls how the assassinated gay rights activist Harvey Milk was an inspiration for him and pushes for the repeal of Proposition Eight.

Thanks to Hazlit, who informs me that Russell Crowe actually hosted the Australian Film awards a few years back. Rather depressingly, Hazlit goes on to say that the event was eminently forgettable. Maybe we'll stick with Jackman after all.

The award, incidentally, is presented by Tina Fey and Steve Martin who are genuinely, rousingly amusing, veering off into perfectly timed jibe at Hollywood Scientologists and waxing lyrical about "our religion, which we made up". Hasn't Martin hosted this shebang a few times in the past? He was good value, as I recall.

2.06am: And the award for best adapted screenplay goes to ... Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire. One suspects that this award is the first of many. On stage, Beaufoy offers thanks to director Danny Boyle and proucer Christian Colson – "the other two musketeers". Chances are they will have the chance to return the favour before too long.

2.14am: Turns out we were misled by the interminable parade out on the red carpet. We are now rattling through these awards at a rate that suggests that the organisers might have double-booked the Kodak Theatre. Maybe Sunday night is Bingo night.

So the Oscar for best animated feature goes where everyone said it would – to Pixar's terrific WALL-E, and few will have an issue with that.

Moments later the gong for best animated short is handed to Kunio Kato for La Maison en Petits Cubes. I don't know whether Kato was the hot favourite or the wild-card outsider in this category. I'm not sure whether he did either.

2.19am: "The film now moves from the page to the stage," announces Sarah Jessica Parker, and her co-presenter Daniel Craig flicks a nervous glance to the wings. Maybe he thinks that the film literally is moving, right this minute, and that any second it is going to fly out from behind the curtain and knock him senseless.

But no, he's all right. It's just the preamble to the award for art direction and it goes to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. David Fincher's yarn led the field coming into the night with a whopping 13 nominations. For all that, it is currently running in the shadow of Slumdog.

2.26am: Union flags at the ready. Rule Britannia etc, etc, etc. Michael O'Connor scoops the costume design award for his work on The Duchess, which goes down as another British success. Over at the next bank of desks, my colleague Jason Solomons is delighted. He tipped O'Connor for this award some six months ago, when The Duchess first came out.

No thanks for Jason from the podium, however. Typical. You trumpet these people for all you're worth. You build them up and make them what they are. And where's the thanks? There is no thanks. Instead, they walk away without a backward glance – all the way to the Oscar then on to the party, perhaps to dance with a showgirl and jump in a swimming pool. "Jason who?" he's thinking now. "Jason who?"

2.29am: Whoops, fell behind and missed out on the makeup award. What am I thinking? The Oscar goes to ... The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which is now two for 13. Congratulations to the powder crowd.

2.37am: Accompanied by Natalie Portman, Ben Stiller shuffles out on stage in the guise of Joaquin Phoenix. He is sporting a Unabomber beard and a zonked-out thousand-yard stare. "This is ridiculous," says Portman. "You're chewing gum at the Oscars." Stiller simply wanders off and inspects his shoes.

And the Oscar for cinematography goes to the great Anthony Dod Mantle for Slumdog Millionaire. Seems a good choice to me. Mantle is one of the world's great cinematographers and, with Slumdog, he conjured up a brilliant, vibrant, vital and grimy vision of Mumbai. Not sure, but I think that Slumdog and Button are now locked in a dead heat on two awards apiece. The night is still young, however.

2.43am: Oh, and we should point out at this point that no, the Academy were not lying when they poured scorn on the notorious Leaked List of Winners. This list, remember, said that Amy Adams would win the best supporting actress Oscar, and that In Bruges would be named best original screenplay. In the event, the winners were Penélope Cruz and Milk. All at once these Oscars seem almost dramatic again.

2.50am: Another five minutes, another award. This one is for live-action short and it goes to Spielzeugland, which means "Toyland". Toyland sounds more enticing, and is altogether more easy to type.

Incidentally, I'm wary of saying this, but these Oscars are really rather funny. What's not to like about James Franco and Seth Rogen's Beavis and Butthead routine, slobbed on the couch in front of this year's contenders. Their giggling and guffawing at The Reader is somehow more damning (and more exposing of the film's overweening pomposity) than a thousand bad reviews.

3.02am: OK, so here is one of those "bold risks" that Sid Ganis was promising. And as predicted it is musical in nature. Here is a grand slice of Depression-era escapism. It features Hugh Jackman in a top hat and Beyoncé in a red dress (and a top hat), and they are singing show-tunes and Abba medleys at each other. On and on it goes, boldly going to riskiness and back, and afterwards the crowd applauds indulgently. I think my ears are bleeding. Someone fetch me a tissue.

The "man who created that number" is Baz Luhrmann, apparently. He sits in his seat looking suitably sheepish as the applause peters out around him. And with that we cut to a commercial break. One of these commercials is for razor blades. Considering what we have just been subjected to, this strikes me as somewhat irresponsible.

3.12am: We have now reached the Oscar for best supporting actor; the nearest thing to a foregone conclusion. It goes – posthumously – to Heath Ledger for his splendidly scary, slippery performance as the Joker in The Dark Knight and is collected by his family.

Of course, this award probably should have gone to him a few years back for Brokeback Mountain. But few would begrudge this. Ledger was a devastatingly good actor, whose death at the age of 28 caught us all by surprise. He now joins Peter Finch as the only thespians to ever win a posthumous acting Oscar. The final chapter has been written and if it's not a happy ending, exactly, it is at least a satisfying one.

3.17am: My, the documentary category is strong this year. In the event the Oscar goes, not to the legendary Werner Herzog, nor to the makers of the camcorder Katrina masterpiece, Trouble the Water.

It goes, instead, to James Marsh's marvellous Man On Wire, about the French high-wire daredevil Philippe Petit.

"This is the shortest speech in Oscar history - Yes!" says Petit. "But I also want to say, because I always break my own rules, that's what I do, I also want to say ..." And with that he's off on a delightful ramble. Thank heavens he was more surefooted when he walked that tightrope all those years ago.

3.28am: Huge Action (as aTeaButNoE dubs him) is back on stage, sans the top hat, to usher in the postproduction awards. Now these are traditionally regarded as the – how shall we put this? – less glamorous section of the Oscar telecast. Except that Huge is having none of this. "This is the cool stuff," he barks. "Take a look." And with that we are treated to a angry, hectoring montage of stunt scenes – as opposed to, say, an elderly sound editor bent low over an AVID.

And the Oscar for best visual effects goes to ... The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. David Fincher's epic fable has now nosed into the lead, with three gongs so far.

3.38am: Award No 2 for The Dark Knight, which wins for sound editing. Claiming the award is sound editor Richard King. He bears a spooky resemblance to Richard Jenkins, the best actor nominee for The Visitor. Has anyone seen these two people together at the same time? Has Jenkins reasoned that the best chance he stands of winning an Oscar this year is to pass himself off as some sound editor no one knows anyway. Cunning move, Jenkins.

Seconds later comes the award for sound mixing, which on no account is ever to be confused with sound editing; perish that thought. As if to drive the point home, the Academy gives this Oscar to a very different film – Slumdog Millionaire, bringing it level with Benjamin Button on three awards.

Scratch that, Slumdog now has four. It's just won the editing Oscar too. Chris Dickens takes the award and says that he loved working on the film and "didn't want it to end". Isn't this a handicap for an editor? "I love this film so much that I don't want it to end. Here's a final cut that runs 867 minutes."

3.50am: He has been a screeching clown, a gurning sidekick, a sour chatshow host in The King of Comedy and a charity powerhouse. And now, it transpires, Jerry Lewis is an Oscar-winner as well. The original Nutty Professor accepts a lifetime achievement gong from his successor Eddie Murphy in recognition for his humanitarian efforts over the past 50-odd years.

At the podium, Lewis seems subdued, possibly ailing, and it is only at the end that he cracks his trademark goofy grin, brandishing his statue at someone in the crowd. For all the talk of Jerry's achievement, however, there is no mention of The Day the Clown Cried, his notorious 1970s tale of a loveable entertainer who cheers up the kids in the concentration camps. The film was yanked from circulation and has never been knowingly screened. Nearly four decades on, however, and here comes Kate Winslet as the runaway favourite to win an Oscar for playing an Evil Nazi Death Camp Guard What Can't Read. Once upon a time it could have been Jerry.

3.57am: You want the Oscar for original score? You got it.

Well actually, you haven't got it. AR Rahman has got it. He wrote the score for Slumdog Millionaire, so he probably deserves it more than we do in any case. And with that, Danny Boyle's Mumbai picaresque puts further distance between itself and that film about the buttons. It now has five Oscars to Benjamin's three.

4.06am: It's a bumper musical-medley-mash-up, live on stage and as bold and as risk-taking as Philippe Petit walking blindfolded on a bit of dental floss. Having just necked a bottle of scotch.

After that, the Oscar (for best original song) comes as something as an afterthought. It goes, again, to AR Rahman for Slumdog Millionaire (its sixth of the night).

"All my life I have had a choice between hate and love," he tells us. "I chose love, and that is why I am here tonight."

Damn it. I knew I should have chosen love. Why did I have to go and choose hate? It just looked, I dunno, more cool somehow. Ah well, too late now. Should have gone for love.

4.15am: Now here comes Liam Neeson and Freida Pinto to present the award for best foreign language film. Why is Neeson presenting this award, specifically? Surely it can't be in any way connected to his recent role in Taken, which seems to feature him strangling, chinning, shooting and decapitating anyone and everyone who speaks in a foreign language. Note to whoever wins this thing: give Neeson the widest possible berth. Only accept the Oscar if Pinto hands it to you! Avoid the death-dealing fists of Neeson!

Now this category seemed a toss-up between the Israeli animation Waltz With Bashir and the French drama The Class. But this has always been a weird and unpredictable prize, and true to form it goes to a rank outsider – Departures, from Japan.

Kudos to Kristopher Tapley, a writer over at Incontention.com, who seems to be one of the only people who predicted this one. Departures, he wrote this week, "is the sort of safe, solid work that tends to take out the frontrunner in this category time and time again". I have yet to see Departures, and maybe it's great. Even so, right now, I can't help feeling that both Bashir and The Class have been robbed.

4.26am: And the Oscar for best director goes to ... Danny Boyle, for Slumdog Millionaire. Fulfilling a promise to his children, he accepts the award "in the spirit of Tigger" – the irrepressible cat from Hundred-Acre Wood. Boyle goes on to thank "everyone who helped us make the film and everyone who didn't", which I guess includes us.

Is this a good result? I think it is. Boyle is a shrewd, brilliant, energetic director and made Slumdog Millionaire a far better film that it otherwise might have been. He has paid his dues and been around for years. Chances are he will be around for plenty more. Long may he bounce, Tigger-like, from one production to the next.

4.38am: Gather round people, it is the Kate Winslet Oscar Moment. By God it's been a while in coming and now here it is. It will not be denied; its hour has come at last. Five former Oscar-winners (Shirley MacLaine, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren et al) take to the stage to anoint their successor. Loren sports an orange tan that suggests her last vacation was on Three Mile Island. She's glowing, but not necessarily in a good way.

And the award itself? It might have been Jolie, it might have been Streep. But it's not. It's Winslet for The Reader, completing a treble that began at the Globes and continued through the Baftas and ends a run of five nominations without a win. Needless to say, she is rather emotional.

"I've dreamt of this moment since I was an eight-year-old, looking in the bathroom mirror, and this [the Oscar] was a bottle of shampoo," she says. "It's not a shampoo bottle now."

And after that, the waterworks. Mention of the film's late producers – Anthony Minghella and Sydney Pollack – chokes her up and she pauses for breath. Ploughing on she heaps hasty praise on her fellow nominees – "goddesses", every one – and then comes reeling off the stage. It's sixth time lucky for Kate Winslet, and her own personal psychodrama, her own epic quest, has now had its final act.

4.47am: Exit Winslet, enter five former best actor Oscar-winners (Robert De Niro, Michael Douglas, Adrien Brody, Anthony Hopkins, Ben Kingsley). Brody is going for the Rasputin look and looks a little scary. Oh, and PS: that's Sir Ben Kingsley to you.

What follows next is the closest thing we have seen to an upset. Sean Penn takes the prize for his splendid turn as the assassinated gay activist Harvey Milk in the Gus van Sant biopic. Rourke, the slight favourite for the award, is floored. Did his much reported extracurricular activities scupper his chances?

"You commie, homo-loving sons of guns," grins Penn, whose speech overruns wildly. He goes on to call for equal rights for everyone, gay or straight, and pays tribute to his fallen foe. "Mickey Rourke rises again," he says. "And he is my brother."

"That was the Penn-ultimate award," quips stupidshallow, and they are absolutely right. There is just the big one left to go.

4.57am: We have now reached the end of the show, the top of the hour. We have had jokes and songs and Depression-era dance routines. We have seen Benjamin Button flounder, and seen Sean Penn upset Mickey Rourke and Kate Winslet make it sixth time lucky. And now here comes Steven Spielberg to announce the winner of the Academy Award for best picture.

And the winner is .... Slumdog Millionaire. It is its eighth award of the night, a bumper haul that puts it well ahead of its rivals. But this one is the crown; the one that really matters.

Now ostensibly the winner of this particular gong is producer Christian Colson. Except that Slumdog Millionaire doesn't work that way. The film is a collaboration, an ensemble piece. Fittingly, the stage is promptly mobbed by cast and crew, young and old. It is an Oscar for all of them, and they all look purely overjoyed to receive it.

5.08am: Roll carpet, roll credits. The 81st Academy Awards have come to an end and Slumdog has had its day. So too did Kate Winslet and Sean Penn. Penélope Cruz snared the Oscar for best supporting actress - ooh, about three weeks ago, it feels like - while Heath Ledger received a posthumous award as best supporting actor. It was also, it should be noted, a vintage year for British talent.

And OK, this was by and large a pretty predictable affair. The main awards went where they were meant to, with the possible exception of Penn's upset victory over Mickey Rourke. For all that, it's hard to begrudge most of these results. Slumdog was the film that came out of nowhere (last summer there was even talk of releasing it straight on to DVD). It is arguably the world's first truly globalised blockbuster; a tale of the Mumbai slums, shot by a Brit and partly cast with Hindi-speaking players, that broke out to take the world by storm.

Right, that's it, the cleaners are running a vacuum cleaner around my feet and the parties are about to begin. Thanks a bunch for sticking with me, and for all your comments. Sorry for the typos, the rambling, the inexplicable breaks in transmission. Oh, and the rambling as well. Sleep well, one and all. Choose love, not hate.

Preity's loud B'day party annoys neighbor

Bubbly gal Preity Zinta celebrated her 34th birthday on 31st January. She was in upbeat mood and enjoying the party in full swing when the Bandra police knocked her door. They arrived to attend the complaint lodged by Preity's neighbor for playing the speaker in high volume. The party went till the wee hours in the morning and the residents of the slum areas got disturbed with the loud noise. At first the police did not respond to their complaint as it was against top class people but on repeated calls they finally had to attend their problem.

A local resident, Irfan Shaikh said that very loud music was played in the party which lingered till the wee hours of Sunday morning. "Whenever there is music or program in the slum areas, these people in big buildings complain against us and we have to shell out large fines. We also get disturbed and so we complained to the police," he told.

But Preity remained unperturbed. She was least cared and did not respond to the call of the police. Shaikh informed that soon after the police left, the volume was again raised. It is very well known that Preity's birthday bash is attended by Bollywood bigwigs like Shahrukh Khan, Farah Khan, Chunky Pandey and others.

Preity Zinta adopts 34 orphans

Bollywood pretty gal Preity Zinta who is known for her outspoken nature also carries a heart of gold. Though she is associated with few social organizations and donates money for charity very often, recently she has done a great humanitarian work by adopting 34 orphan girls from the Mother Miracle School in Hrishikesh during her 34th birthday.

Regarding the noble deeds that she has rendered, Preity said, "Yes. I have adopted them and will be completely looking after their education, food, clothes etc. It`s an amazing feeling to be part of their lives. I'm going to make it a point to visit them at least twice a year. They are my children, my responsibility now."

Preity at first decided to spend those big bucks on an imported car but later she changed her mindset and donated the money for a charitable cause. "The horrors of female foeticide and child abuse are not just headlines for me. These 34 girls are just the beginning, I am going to adopt a couple more on every birthday", adds Preity.

Adopting 34 orphans one at a time is not a matter of joke and Preity stands as an example for all. She truly deserves huge round of applause.